Glossary of Terms

The Panther Playbook Glossary of Terms

When I first formed the idea to start a Panthers blog, I knew that I wanted to approach it from a fan’s perspective and use lingo that non-football readers probably wouldn’t understand. But, I knew it would confuse a lot of people, so I decided that a glossary of terms was necessary. I’ve seen this done at other blogs, so I decided to compile a list of terms, nicknames, and acronyms that I use in reference to players, coaches, teams, etc. and add it here so those of you reading this blog won’t feel lost.

This glossary is a work in progress.

Current Panthers Nicknames/Terms

89: Panthers WR Steve Smith, who referred to himself as 89 when he announced the Rules & Regulations of the game (see Rules & Regulations for details on the term).

8-9 Killa, the: Steve Smith. He wears #89, and he kills opposing defenses with his speed and ability to catch balls in traffic (sometimes catching balls that no other receiver would even come close to bringing in). He has also has a fiery temper and has been known to punch teammates from time to time. (aka Smitty, The Incendiary One)

Alien Wizard: Panthers QB Jimmy Clausen. Nickname taken from a WalterFootball article on Clausen prior to the 2010 NFL Draft. (aka Pickles)

Bank, the: Bank of America Stadium, home of the Carolina Panthers. (aka BoA, BofA)

Beast: Panthers LB Jon Beason.

Beast Mode: Term used in CSR gamethreads when Jon Beason makes a great play on the field.

Big Cat, the: Jerry Richardson, owner of the Panthers and one of the most beloved owners in the entire NFL. (The term Big Cat is used by 99% of Panthers fans as a term of endearment.)

Buck: Panthers WR Brandon LaFell. Nickname coined by CSR author James the Aussie, because a buck is a young moose, and LaFell is a younger version of Muhsin “Moose” Muhammad. (aka Sticks)

Cardiac Cats, the: The Carolina Panthers, who have an unusual ability of making almost every fan have a near heart-attack every Sunday by playing in amazingly close games or making heroic 4th quarter come-backs. This term originated in 2003, when the Panthers won 7 games in the last 2 minutes or in overtime. (It has recently been stolen by the Cincinnati Bengals, but the Panthers are the original Cardiac Cats.)

CSR: Cat Scratch Reader, a fan-site of the Carolina Panthers.

Daily Show, the: Panthers RB Jonathan Stewart. Nickname taken from a Rotoworld article about Stewart’s monster game against the Giants on 12/27/09 when he amassed 209 rushing yards. (The Daily Show is a comedic news show on Comedy Central starring Jon Stewart, for those of you who didn’t know.)

D-Will: Panthers RB DeAngelo Williams

Double Trouble: The deadly combination of D-Will and J-Stew.

False Start: Panthers OL Jordan Gross, because he does it a lot. (Also the name of one of Jake Delhomme’s horses, which he admitted in an interview to naming the horse after Gross because of his tendency of jumping off the line too soon.)

Forrest Gump: Jeff Davidson, the absolute dumbest Offensive Coordinator in the NFL. In 2009, he was gifted with two of the best running backs in the league (D-Will and J-Stew), and had one of the weakest quarterbacks (Delhomme) – yet he inexplicably decided that it was always a good idea to call deep passing plays 75% of the time late in games when the team was only down by 3-7 points with more than 5 minutes remaining. (aka Gump)

Foxism: A blatantly obvious (and sometimes confusing) statement that John Fox will make to the media during press conferences or interviews regarding team and/or player issues. (Example: When discussing player injuries, Fox will say “Right now, he’ll be day-to-day, and we’ll make those decisions as we go” — no matter how serious the injury is. The player could have had his arm ripped off and been beaten over the head with it on the field, and Fox will give the same “day-to-day” speech regarding the injury status and recovery time.)

Foxy: John Fox.

Furney: A portmanteau of John Fox and Marty Hurney, frequently used by CSR members as a lazy convenient way to complain about and/or praise both men at once.

Ghost of Wesley Walls, the: Panthers TE Dante Rosario, for his excellent pass catching ability, which is highly unusual for a Panthers tight end. This nickname originates from and is used frequently at CSR. (aka Rosario Dawson)

Great Purge, the: The 2010 offseason, where the Panthers front office released several key veterans (including fan favorite Brad Hoover) to cut cap space and make the team younger.

Gump: see Forrest Gump

Hurney: Marty Hurney, General Manager of the Carolina Panthers.

Incendiary One, the: Steve Smith, based on an ESPN commercial with Kenny Mayne, where Mayne refers to Smith’s speed as incendiary. This nickname can also be used to describe Smitty’s fiery personality and competitiveness, which can be seen frequently on the sidelines (and sometimes on the field) during games. (aka Smitty, 8-9 Killa)

J-Stew: Jonathan Stewart.

Juggernaut, the: Panthers DT Tank Tyler. Nickname coined by CSR member Revshawn during the 11/19/09 Panthers/Dolphins gamethread, after Tyler made a helmet-less tackle for loss. (I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!)

Lord Helmet: Panthers OL Geoff Schwartz. Nickname derived from the movie Spaceballs, where Yogurt teaches us the power of “The Schwartz”.

Money: Panthers WR/KR Armanti Edwards. Nickname originates from his college career at Appalachian State, where he played quarterback from 2006-2009. Fans often said that “his throws are like money”. (aka Sling Blade, The Predator)

Pickles: Jimmy Clausen. Nickname given to him by teammates and based on Claussen brand pickles. (aka Alien Wizard)

Predator, the: Armanti Edwards. Nickname given to him while he was at Appalachian State. (aka Money, Sling Blade)

Rosario Dawson: Dante Rosario, because he has the strange inability to block like a man from time to time. The nickname comes from actress Rosario Dawson, who has a similar name and is female. Also, after Rosario made the game winning touchdown reception in a 26-24 victory against the Chargers in Week 1 of the 2008 season, Fox mistakenly referred to Rosario as “Rosario Dawson” in the post-game statistics leader board. (aka The Ghost of Wesley Walls)

Rules & Regulations: The rules of the game which every player must follow, set forth by Steve Smith in a post-game interview with Andrea Kramer after the Panthers defeated the Vikings on 12/20/09. Also, a fan page of “rules” at CSR.

Senn Master, the: Panthers LB Jordan Senn. Nickname coined by Panthers beat writer Darin Gantt via Twitter on the first day of Training Camp 2010.

Sling Blade: Armanti Edwards. Nickname originates from a freak lawnmower accident in which Edwards injured his foot in college. (aka Money, The Predator)

Smart: Panthers WR Kenneth Moore. Nickname coined by CSR member James the Aussie, because Moore drives a Smart Car.

Smitty: Steve Smith. Smitty is the most common nickname used for Smith, though I will use the other ones from time to time. (aka The Incendiary One, 8-9 Killa)

Smoothie: Panthers K Todd Carter. Nickname originates from Carter’s job at a Smoothie shop last season while he was out of football.

Sticks: Brandon LaFell. Nickname coined by CSR member Sniff, because LaFell wears #11 and has a lanky physique. (aka Buck)

TD: Panthers LB Thomas Davis, unless it clearly refers to a touchdown.

Wood: Panthers LB Eric Norwood. Nickname coined by CSR members Jaxon and silver82blade. (aka Woodshed)

Woodshed: Eric Norwood. Nickname given because Norwood takes opposing quarterbacks to the woodshed and gives them the beating they deserve. (aka Wood)

* * * *

Practice Squad Nicknames (Players no longer on the roster)

Candy Man, the: Jake Delhomme. Nickname originates from a comment by fantasy sports blogger Lester at Lester’s Legends on 11/05/09, stating: “Delhomme hands out INTs like it’s Halloween”. (aka The Statue)

Hitman: Chris Harris, the Panthers’ hard-hitting safety.

Hoover the Mover: Brad Hoover, former Panthers fullback (and probably one of the biggest fan-favorites in team history). The nickname comes from a local Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep dealership chain in the lowcountry of South Carolina. Since Hoover is a fullback who moves defenders out of the way for the running backs, the name fits. Plus, it rhymes and sounds cool. (This torch will be passed to any future Panthers player who has the last name Hoover, but will have II, III, IV, etc. added to it. It’s similar to the monarch naming system of England, et al, only it’s cooler.)

Kemo: Ma’ake Kemoeatu, former Panthers defensive tackle (who was released during The Great Purge of 2010). He has this nickname for two reasons: (1) it’s easier to spell, and (2) it sounds cool.

Moose: Muhsin Muhammad, the 2nd best wide receiver in Panthers history. Moose was known for his dominant blocking skills, and fans would chant “Moooooooosssssseeee” any time he made a big play on the field (and sometimes just for the hell of it).

Pep: Julius Peppers, former Panthers defensive end. The man who John Fox built the defense around in his first season as head coach by taking him with the #2 overall pick in the 2002 NFL Draft, yet couldn’t find the decency to thank the fans or the organization when he left via free agency in 2010.

Statue, the: Jake Delhomme, the Panthers’ starting quarterback from 2003-2009, who has the inability to move around in the pocket and avoid a sack. Instead, he stands straight up with his arm held back to throw, and ends up either (a) taking a sack, or (b) fumbling the ball, and frequently caused me to request that he be given the Old Yeller Treatment. (aka The Candy Man)

* * * *

Non-Panthers Nicknames/Terms

Aint’s, the: The New Orleans Saints, because they have sucked out loud for 80% of their existence. During the 1980 season when the Saints started  0-14, Saints fans began wearing paper bags over their heads during games and referred to their team as the “Aint’s”, and the nickname has stuck with them ever since. (Even though they won Super Bowl XLIV, they still have too many years of sucking to lose the “Aint’s” label.)

All-Time Interceptions Leader, the: Brett Favre, because he is. (And his record is pretty safe. The closest active player to him is Kerry Collins, who currently trails Favre by more than 100 interceptions. So, needless to say, this nickname is good to use for a long time, especially if Favre keeps coming back year after year to throw more picks.)

Cheddar Plax: Plaxico Burress, former New York Giants receiver who shot himself in the leg while at a night club in New York. The nickname originates from the movie 8-Mile, where the character Cheddar Bob shoots himself in the leg during a gang fight.

Chucky: Former NFL Head Coach and current ESPN Monday Night Football commentator Jon Gruden. He looks like Chucky, the psycho-killer doll from the horror films.

Crypt Keeper, the: Al Davis, owner of the Oakland Raiders, and according to most football fans, the solitary cause for Oakland’s nosedive from Super Bowl runner-up to laughing stock of the NFL. Unfortunately for Al’s sake (or for the Crypt Keeper’s, however you would like to look at it), there is convincing evidence for the basis of this nickname.

Da Bears: The Chicago Bears. The term originates from an old Saturday Night Live skit with Chris Farley (The Super Fans), where drunken Bears fans repeatedly refer to their team as “Da Bears”.

Dirty Sanchez: New York Jets starting quarterback Mark Sanchez. The term Dirty Sanchez is explained in graphic detail here.

Doggy Style: Michael Vick, former Falcons quarterback. Nickname given because of his illegal dog fighting and gambling ring that sent him to prison for 19 months.

Dr. Quinn: Browns quarterback Brady Quinn. Originally coined at Lester’s Legends as “Brady Quinn, Medicine Woman” in a fantasy football team names article on 11/20/09.

Goober: Peyton Manning, quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts. Even though Manning is one of the  greatest quarterbacks of all-time, he is one of the goofiest off-the-field personalities in the NFL, and he looks like the dorky kid that everyone gave wedgies in elementary school.

Goober Junior: Eli Manning, quarterback for the New York Giants and younger brother of Peyton Manning (aka Goober). He’s just as gooberish as Peyton (if not more gooberish), and he gets the “junior” label because he’s the little brother.

Jaws: Former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and current ESPN Monday Night Football commentator Ron Jaworski. (It has nothing to do with the shark.)

Jerrytron, the: The 160 x 72 ft. scoreboard at Cowboys Stadium. Jerry Jones wanted to make a statement of wealth to the world with the construction of his new stadium, so he installed the largest jumbotron in the history of sports, and it looks ridiculous (almost as ridiculous as that goofy grin JJ always has on his face).

JJ: Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys.

JJ’s Boys: The Dallas Cowboys, affectionately named after their pompous “I’m better than you and I know it” owner, Jerry Jones. (JJ’s Girls works as well.)

Me-O: Terrell Owens, the most pompous, selfish, and whiny receiver in the entire NFL. The nickname is a play on his actual nickname, T-O (which, according to ESPN First Take analyst Skip Bayless, stands for Team Obliterator).

Mr. Kardashian: Reggie Bush, the Saints’ first round draft pick (who has yet to live up to the hype) running back and ex-boyfriend of socialite/actress Kim Kardashian. (From time to time I will use Reggie Kardashian instead – they’re perfectly interchangeable.)

Old Yeller Treatment, the: Used in reference to players who are way past their prime and need to be put out of their misery. The phrase is taken from the classic children’s novel/film Old Yeller, when Travis Coates shoots his dog, Old Yeller, because he contracted rabies and would have died a slow and painful death.

Omar: Mike Tomlin, Head Coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers, who looks like the long lost identical twin of actor Omar Epps (the guy who plays Dr. Foreman on House).

Palmolive: Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu. Coined by my wife while watching a replay of a Steelers/Titans game on NFL Network, because Palmolive soap is the first thing that she thinks of when she sees or hears his name.

Sheriff, the: NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. He likes to rule the league with an iron fist, even though some of his rulings are completely ludicrous.

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